Sunday, February 01, 2009

Unpublished JRR Tolkien Stories

I used to brag about how I'd read The Lord of the Rings fourteen times. There I go, doing it again. Confession time: for most of the later passes, I skipped the poems and songs and kinda skimmed over the crawling through Mordor parts.

Whew, I feel better.

But I still love 'em. Last weekend, we got to watch the Fellowship movie with Ethan (11), which was a lot of fun. We made him read the book before we'd let him watch it. Parental power is sometimes fun.

I was talking to him about the Hobbit as well, and it reminded me of a series of Tolkien takeoffs I've long wanted to do.

Just imagine that yet another cache of unpublished Tolkien works is found:

Unpublished JRR Tolkien Stories

  • Plucky kid menaced by brutal bully at school dares to fight back: he whacks the bully in the head with his lunchbox. Just before the bully can smash him, an enormous eagle scout plucks him out of danger by the neck of his shirt.
  • Hard-working middle-aged salesman is in a slump. He needs to get the Ring account or he's through. He wants to offer the Ring manufacturer a discount, but he's told no dice. On the last day of the quarter, an Eagle Distributing clerk offers him a discount on service, and he's able to pass that on to the customer and win the deal.

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