Handy public restroom tip

I record this tip for all and sundry as a way of paying it forward. My tip is of the kind everyon finds useful eventually. I speak, of course, of the inevitable times when you find yourself in a public restroom, forced by your indigestive tract to make sounds reminiscent of a bassoon or compact tuba. 

Ever since some kids in first grade climbed onto the toilet seat in the adjacent stall and looked over the stall walls at me, I've been a little shy in public restrooms. But I long ago came up with a solution that applies the same sort of logic as covering your eyes to hide from someone: I cover my ears. 

Safely insulated from my own horrific notes, I can grunt and strain my way to comfort. This has stood me in good stead for many years.

I commend this tip to you, 

in the hopes it may prove useful, 

with greatest respect, 

yours sincerely,

& etc.

Aaron